Curse

Sciros Darkblade · Aug 22, 2005, 05:02 PM // 17:02

Video Game Violence? Violins? What's the difference!?

Stupid people piss me off. They're impossible to avoid, and often sneak up on you like ninja and throw retardation at you like a poisoned shuriken. It's like they've been specially trained in the art of being a complete dumbass. I'm also fairly certain that if all the stupid people on the planet suddenly vaporized, we'd be left with Batman and maybe 500 other people, myself included of course.

Sure, some of these idiots don't deserve to be vaporized. It's not their fault they're too stupid to notice the backup flush button on a defective motion-sensitive toilet. But, some people are just asking for a ray gun blast to the face. These are the people involved in the debate about violence in video games.

I know what you're thinking. "A ray gun blast to the face? Looks like someone's been playing too many violent video games!" I have one answer to that: go kill yourself.

It's bad enough that there are idiot Democrats trying to play to the center by wailing on about games like Grand Theft Auto destroying our childrens' innocence and turning them into serial rapists and Nazis and poachers and whatever the hell else. Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton, Herb Kohl -- these guys aren't just stupid, they're complete assholes. Crying out against a sex scene that was taken out of GTA: San Andreas and is only accessible by cracking the disc, ignoring the fact that poorly done, UNexplicit sex is pocket change compared to hiring a hooker, banging her in the car, then running her over and taking back your money. That's not just stupid, it's completely disingenuous. The public are morons and they'll get outraged about "sex in games" if you tell them to, and these Senators know that and are more than willing to exploit it to get media attention.

But if these asshole idiots are bad enough, check out who they're up against: Dumb and F-ing Dumber . These douches are out to prove that video games do NOT incite violent behavior, and they do it how? By having people play Asheron's Call 2 for 56 hours in a month.

Maybe that didn't quite get through to you. They played ASHERON'S F-ING CALL 2. The most boring and utterly tranquil massively multiplayer online RPG ever. This thing can kill your brain due to lack of activity. Its most appealing bit of gameplay amounts to playing on your lute while another player bangs his bongos and a third plays the violin. I'm dead serious.

The fact of the matter is, AC2 can only inspire aggressive behavior against its developer, Turbine Entertainment, which they absolutely deserve for crapping this turd of a game. However, 56 hours spent playing an MMORPG, and particularly AC2, is enough to create your character, kill about 400 bees, and not much else. People kill bees all the time, it's realistic but it's hardly ruining our teenagers. Fact is, 56 hours for an MMORPG is NOTHING. It's simply not enough time to get pissed off at Turbine and want to kill them for this travesty of a game.

The average player will put in over 100 hours a month into an MMORPG, and the "hardcore" player will put in over 300. By the way, the only behavior these hardcore players display is antisocial, not violent. They're also the only players that MMORPGs actually have any effect on, making any "violence in gamers" study that uses something like AC2 to make a point completely bogus.

Those ass lickers at Urbana-Champaign would've been better off using Space Invaders in their study. It's a hundred times more violent than the snooze fest AC2 is. Hell, in comparison to Asheron's Call 2, typing this paragraph is FFM sex.

The long and short of it is we have three things to worry about. One is that Democrats, who people my age are supposed to view as more sensible than the GOP, are trying to screw us over to gain favor with mentally retarded moderates who probably view touch-screen voting terminals as video game violence. Two is that the people who are supposedly trying to help us out are such tards that we'd be better off killing them. And three is that Asheron's Call 2 might be a meeting place for terrorist factions, since no sane person plays it. There's probably around 300 people on it at any given time, and I'm willing to bet that about 40 of them are playing the lute and/or bongos while 260 are trying to organize some high-profile bombing. Considering that AC2 has virtually no exposure and no player base, this scenario is all too possible. What it means is that rather than wasting time having totally unqualified idiots conduct junk studies on video game violence, we should execute an air strike on Turbine Studios to destroy their online servers and break this backbone of terrorist communications.

So come on people, grab your ray guns and man your Vic Vipers. Let's do this!

Weezer_Blue · Aug 22, 2005, 05:24 PM // 17:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciros Darkblade

Stupid people piss me off.

Amen.

Omega Complex · Aug 22, 2005, 05:29 PM // 17:29

So let it be written, so let it be done.

ManadartheHealer · Aug 22, 2005, 09:28 PM // 21:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciros Darkblade

Stupid people piss me off.

/signed

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciros Darkblade

They're impossible to avoid, and often sneak up on you like ninja and throw retardation at you like a poisoned shuriken. It's like they've been specially trained in the art of being a complete dumbass.

The danger can be averted by throwing a colourful cookie under a couch. That keeps them occupied for awhile

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciros Darkblade

I'm also fairly certain that if all the stupid people on the planet suddenly vaporized, we'd be left with Batman and maybe 500 other people, myself included of course.

Totally wrong. There would only be 250 people left on the planet

Guillaume De Sonoma · Aug 22, 2005, 10:44 PM // 22:44

Well asuming that some of those people are like me who have no common sense and put glass on a hot stove even though they have a 4.0 in school its gonna get pretty lonely.

Edit: I agree with most everything you said man.

PieXags · Aug 22, 2005, 10:52 PM // 22:52

I didn't read your post to be honest, but who am I to go against the majority? I totally agree with everything I'm assuming you said in that post of yours man, if Manadar agrees I've surely got to agree!

Great post.

XxArsenykxX · Aug 22, 2005, 11:43 PM // 23:43

That was one helluva rant there...I read some and what I read i agreed with so I'll go with it.

/signed

Spartan2 · Aug 23, 2005, 12:33 AM // 00:33

/signed

If it comes down to it, we gamers shall start the revolution. Be prepared, for the end is nigh.

ParaJiM · Aug 23, 2005, 01:16 AM // 01:16

Now THAT is an excellent post. Absolutely Brilliant

Lt.Crumpet · Aug 23, 2005, 01:42 AM // 01:42

aye, stick it to those faggot demicrats. but hey, they r just reaching for ANYTHING these days to get them some attention

PieXags · Aug 23, 2005, 02:54 AM // 02:54

Having read the post now, all I can say is the obscenities made it worth the read.

SOT · Aug 23, 2005, 03:07 AM // 03:07

nice post! Sticky-worthy

Sciros Darkblade · Aug 23, 2005, 09:57 PM // 21:57

I forgot to add that I can't find the details on even a single one of these studies, showing the actual groups of people use and their backgrounds, etc. Likely the wang biters that conduct the studies don't want the details to spill out, as they would betray the bullsh-t.

When I'm old and rich and conservative, I'm gonna be all over that virtual reality garbage. I know for a f-ing fact that it will corrupt my grandchildren and turn them into nymphomaniacs and/or homosexuals. And just to prove it, I'm going to later conduct a study where I take 30 hookers and 30 porn actors/actresses and have them play adult virtual reality games to make my point, reporting the results as "a study of 60 random Americans shows that VR games lead to loose morals."

Is it a good or bad thing that I'm moving to England soon? I know I should avoid Australia.

rii · Aug 23, 2005, 10:55 PM // 22:55

england is a cesspit. live in the sea.

EverBlue · Aug 23, 2005, 11:12 PM // 23:12

http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2001/20010718l.gif

'Nuff said.